Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
