Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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