Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
