My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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