i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize