She said her name was "party"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
