Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize