Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you had me at cake vodka
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
