happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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