When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
