i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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