I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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