I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
