A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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