We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
