i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
