the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
