So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
