exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
