well I can't set my house on fire every night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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