Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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