I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
50% drunk capacity currently
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
