you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
