she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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