I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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