yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize