Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
