i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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