I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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