No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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