I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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