if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
