and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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