do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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