he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
