how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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