a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
