I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
