I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
