Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
