im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
