Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
