is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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