I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
