Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
