Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
