Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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