Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
