i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
