i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
