I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
