why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
