dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
