This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
