okay pat passed out under dana's car
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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