this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize